I love writing. And maybe I’m in love with it. I’ve tried to avoid the activity before because the process feels too difficult and the rewards too slim, but I always return. Still, it never feels like an addiction. I never regret returning to it, and it’s not my weakness that returns to it. On the contrary, when I return to writing, I return with the strength of my complete self, and it only ever makes me feel more alive.
Rainer Maria Rilke’s observations of writing as an obsession have always inspired me. He encourages us to “ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write?” And if you respond positively, you should “build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.”
Growing up, I believed that I would still write even if no audience would read my writing, but I’ve since tested that theory, and I know it to be true. My debut novel was published, and since then, I have written four complete novels that I have no interest in publishing, nor have I sought to learn any practical knowledge of how to market myself as a fiction writer. I worked hard writing, editing, and rewriting them only to conclude my journey there. So why did I write them?
I wrote them because I love writing. Because it’s absolutely necessary to my personality to be busy writing something. I’m not sure who I would be without that. I wouldn’t know where to use certain emotions and feelings. What if I waste them? So I turn them into words, and maybe one day I’ll return to the publishing world. But, for now, it’s enough for me to write for myself because I love writing and help encourage others to write for themselves.